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I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.
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Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls and get poked by people you don’t know.
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If you’re talking behind my back, then you’re in a good position to kiss my ass!
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The teachers asks Timmy “why is your cat at school today?” Timmy says, crying, “Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, ‘I’m going to eat that pussy when the kids leave.’ So I’m saving him!”
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…condom says to a tampon “You put me out of a job for 1 week a month.” The tampton replies.. “When you don’t do your job properly, I loose mine for 9 months!”
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In the past, when you were angry with someone you fought them. Now you just delete them off Facebook.
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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Never mind, it’s too long.
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I changed all my passwords to ‘incorrect’. So my computer just tells me when I forget.
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I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy just to check out her ass.
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I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.
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I hate weddings. old people would poke me saying “You’re next”. They stopped when I started going up to them at funerals and poking them, saying, “You’re next”.
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God loves me even when I don’t forward those chain letters.
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I wonder if fat drug dealers sell diet coke.
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